Out of Love? Or Happy Single Life?

Has been going through friends' blogs for quite a while. I notice a common problem with most of us, especially girls, we have just been single again. At least the people I talked to recently have been facing a lot of relationship problem and came to the conclusion of ending the pain in short and live a single life again. I had been in the same mystery few weeks ago but I have the problem clear out, cheer up and moving on again.

I am happy with single life where I have my buddies with me that will accompany to do crazy things, no curfew, absolute freedom. Most important, I have not need to worry about another person which I took it as part of my life. I enjoy it and am loving it. For everyone who has just walk to an end of the relationship, I want to say, WELCOME TO THE CLUB SINGLE!

Friends are always there for you whenever you need somebody, but not the one that you love and hurt you so much. So appreciate whoever is with you all the time, they are for life time. Nonetheless, for those who have given us a chance to love, share and cry with, those memories shall never be forgotten. Is you that have help us to grow up, move on to another milestone in life, thank you for all the good and bad memories and let these be memories that we would be able to smile and laugh at when we grow older. So why keep yourself in misery? Move on and enjoy the life of being single. You will have a chance to look at the different view of the sky and world. Enjoy! :=>

Oikophobia

Phobia is a Greek word meaning fear, is a strong, persistent fear of situations, objects, activities, or persons. The main symptom of this disorder is excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. Phobia occurs as a technical in psychiatry as a mental disorder. A serious phobia that is beyond one's control, can interfere daily life or disable one's life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates.

Oikophobia is a fear of home surroundings, house. I am experiencing it now. It hunts me down quite often and I was surprise for the past 9 weeks I have not encounter any problem due to it. However, it does come back to me again. It probably happen more often when I am back home in Malaysia which I tend to runaway from home, hide myself from my home (a place that does not exist), so called family. Therefore, I am happy to stay away from home.

First year in the UK, I spent most of my time in my classmate's room. I was feeling relax in his room just becuase of the phobia that keeps me away to go home. He was always wondering and often irritated when he tried to tell me to go home. Second year in this country, I kept myself so busy to keep away from that small jail, room which drives me crazy. I went out more with friends, no matter what nationalities or personalities they are. Third year, I was wondering how I can take it for 9 weeks without running away and I am still amazed. Perhaps everyone is now scared of me and refusing to take this responsibilities anymore. I know it cause me quite a lot of trouble and I am thinking maybe I should put myself in the computer cluster or library so that I can progress and get some work done instead of just spending my time running away. Although I will tend to disturb others and being distracted easily, it still of getting things done in a slower progression.

College was a hectic life to keep myself away from the 3 person sharing cell. Its fantastic! That was the life I have missed the most, 3 hours in computer lab after class and get hurried off when it's to be closed, 3 hours in library to finish all the assignments and research projects. Then followed by dinner with friends and coursemates. Go back to the small little house at 10pm. Directly knocked out on the bed for 15-30min, woke up continue with work again. I could just forget about phobia with the amount of workload. During midnight, went for tea, chilled out at mamak(hawker stalls) and even camped in my friends house. Weekends? Half day library(is never open 24-7), read story books/manga(I did spend most of my time in a manga shop, they have all kind of novels and manga), coffee and loitering. Oh do not missed Fridays! Midnight movies, pool, internet cafe LAN game server, chit chat, Ramli's burger and indo mee double. I often go back to my room and sleep 7 on the morning when my roommate woke up. Sorry about it, Emily, I know its a disaster.

"To conquer fear, you have to become fear" I did not manage to conquer fear but I have become a nightmare, a fear for others. No matter how much I like this quote, it doesn't seem seem to help. So do not bother about me if I dissapear in thin air and never return.

I am sorry but I love you

Don't worry, be happy.
Do enjoy yourself for the last 2 weeks of our relationship.
It has been 7 months since we have been together till the last day. Thank you for stepping and leaving a mark in my life. I shall treasure all the precious momnent we have together.
Thank you for giving me a chance to love you.
Maybe you will never know why am I leaving you. Still remember? 1 month probation which I hope I can judge better. Nothing has change since then. I still love you but loving you is more suffering than happiness nowadays. May you blame me for my selfishness to walk away without you. The unforseen is getting harder for me, I am really tired.
I can no longer feel the importance of me in you. I have never been in the top 3 in your importance list and it has just gotten worse throughout the month. Maybe I shouldn't keep you with me, while both of us suffer from the unknown down the way. So I decided to let go, freedom which both of us need.
Do not try to force yourself to squeeze a time for the matter, I know you are busy, get your work done first of all.
Goodbye my love. I hope we can still be friends.
I am sorry but I love you.

Reality Vs Dream

Mankind tend to dream a lot for future, but how far related is the imagination and reality?

Reality is always far more cruel than what we can imagine of, but reality is not just about cruelty, but is a way understand and analyse situations that is going to manage our life now and the future.
Reality is not just cruel but facing it lead us to a fruitfull path after all the sufferings. One will only gain more than what he has already taken if he is ready to take the risk, make his decision base on reality. Besides, in reality, there are always friends, family to share the burden, spare warmth with. So do you see a way of getting out?

Dream is always beautiful since mankind tends to love beautiful things, but how practical is dream in life? It maybe a good way to escape from reality, agony and losses but how far will dream brings you? We always rely on people, putting our high hopes on others. Have you feel it either from family, peers or employers? How much do those whom you imagine of have actually reach the target you have set for them? When things do not go as smooth as your imagination, you will start to blame, grew hatred instead of reviewing what you can actually do to improve. It is not that practical to assume or hope for someone to be exactly the same what you looking for because everyone is unique, none will fit exactly 100%. So stop dreaming, come back to reality. Improve yourself, strive on and one day, you might be able to achieve whatever you have been longing for.

You can't change history, but you can forget it. 我们不能改变历史，但能忘记它。
回顾过去，珍惜当下，把握未来。
现实虽然残酷，但不尽然都是痛苦，还是有他美好的一面。

谢谢你

为了什么你闯进我的世界？
绑住我的心后又撒手离去。。。
让我心痛，你感到快乐么？
想你的声音，多希望手机会响
可是，永远都是其他人给我拨的
等待，很痛苦

开始的时候，至少每隔两天都会有你声音陪伴
现在却连一封短信也没有
你赢了，宣布这场恋情的结束
谢谢你，让我看清楚，成长

女子感悟100条

1、如果一个男人开始怠慢你，请你离开他。不懂得疼惜你的男人不要为之不舍，更不必继续付出你的柔情和爱情。
2、任何时候，不要为一个负心的男人伤心，女子更要懂得，伤心，最终伤的是自己的心。如果那个男人是无情的，你更是伤不到他的心，所以，收拾悲伤，好好生活.
3、永远不要无休止的围着你喜欢的那个男人转，尽管你喜欢得他快要掏心掏肺的死掉了，也还是要学着给他空间，否则，你要小心缠得太紧勒死了他。
4、当一个男人对你说：分手吧。请不要哭泣和流泪，应该笑着说：等你说这话很久了。然后转身走掉。
5、要相信自己，善待自己，让自己的生活精彩纷呈。不要误认为是要让某个人后悔，而是为了让自己的人生更精彩。 　　　
6、每天打扮的优雅从容 出门，给自己带上不同的笑容。 　　　　
7、对善意欣赏你的男子回报浅浅的微笑。 　　　　
8、女子25 岁后，要学会保养自己的皮肤。 　　　　
9、如果可以不抽烟，别抽。如果可以不喝酒，别喝。 　　　　
10、再郁闷也不要去泡酒吧。一个孤独的女子手握高脚杯或者抽烟，会更添寂寞感与忧伤。　
11 、不要贪慕虚荣。虚荣是一剂毒药，而且会上瘾。 　　
12、要穿高跟鞋，但是不要高的太过分。 　　
13、要有几个死党，独一人的时候，保证还能有死党为你端茶送水。而不是声竭力嘶的嚎叫为什么说爱你的那个人不能来陪你。 　　　　
14、睁开双眼选择你的未来伴侣，如果选错了，立即分开。不要凑合过日，那样会害了两个人。
15、不要和男人动手。第一，你动不过他；第二，和你动手的男人一定是个疯子。所以，不如不动。
16、外出旅游。旅行中的心灵能更充实。 　
17、有喝下午茶、阅读书 本、听音乐的习惯。 　
18、买适合自己的衣服、饰物。适合你的就是最好的，所以不必羡慕别人的行头。
19、不要接受你不喜欢的男子送的任何礼物。 　　
20、一次只爱一个人。 　　
21 、知道自己要什么，包括你爱的男人。
22、宁缺毋滥。不要因为寂寞随手抓一个男人，这对你和他都不公平，而且太缺乏责任感。
23、对你不喜欢的追求者的示好和关心坚定的说不和拒绝。即使他说，这不关你的事。 　　　　
24、认真的对待你的工作。工作也许不如爱情来的让你心跳，但至少能保证你有饭吃，有房子住，而不确定的爱情给不了这些，所以，认真努力的工作。
25、最少拥有五个以上可供不同颜色、款式衣服搭配的包，五双以上的鞋子（拖鞋不包括。） 　　　　
26 、学会化精致淡雅的妆容。懂得出现在什么场合着什么服装。 　　　　
27、已经错失的好男人不要去后悔，他们不属于你，于是你要睁大眼睛再找一个。
28、不要爱上已婚却还对你信誓旦旦说会抛妻弃子迎娶你的男人。如果他们真的没感情，自然会离婚，而不是整日对你说些莫名其妙的话。　　　　
29、情人节或者生日没有人送花也无所谓，不必自己去买一束让花店送来。你可以将买花的钱买精美的礼物，送给妈妈和爸爸。 　　　　
30、记住你喜欢的人的生日，包括你的家人，当然，还有自己。 　　
31、你可以去爱一个男人，但是不要把自己的全部都赔进去。没有男人值得你用生命去讨好。你若不爱自己，怎么能让别人爱你？
32、偶尔做美女私房菜给他或者老友吃。但不要天天做，你生来不是为了某个人天天下厨房。 　　　
33、闲情时候自己煮花茶喝或者做茶点吃，放一段柔情音乐，翻阅几页好书，然后睡个懒觉，快哉。
34、疯狂的事情经历一次就好，比如翻越千山万水的去看望一个人。 　　　　
35、没有时间和精力的话，不要乱表爱心养小动物，怠慢它们同样是种残忍，虽然我理解你很寂寞需要一个伴。 　
36、不要学人搓麻将。折磨身心的事情不要做。
37 、偶尔自己唱歌给自己听，好坏不重要，心情爽朗就可以。 　　　　
38、孤单的时候找好朋友聊天、逛街、吃饭。不要让孤寂淹没自己。 　　　　
39 、如果发短信息给你喜欢的人，他不回。不要再发。 　　　　
40、万一脆弱的不行了，请选好哭泣的对象，不要随便借肩膀和胸膛。 　　　　
41、出门前，记得照镜子，检查一下着装是否协调。如果时间太紧，建议睡觉前就选好第二天穿的衣服。 　　　　
42、不管是和谁约会见面，约定的时间之前一定要到达。 　　　　
43 、万一不小心喝醉了酒，不要打电话给任何人，包括死党和他。 　　　　
44、晚上早点回家，自己没有车，超过十点要打的士，或者让人来接。 　　　　
45、从现在开始，聪明一点，不要问他想不想你？爱不爱你？他要想你或者爱你自然会对你说，但是从你的嘴里说出来，他会很骄傲和不在乎你。　　　　
46、平等公正的对待你和他的爱情，脚踩很多船最终会翻 掉。 　　　　
47、一个人去看电影。买爆米花和可乐，笑翻天。或者，泪流满面。如果你喜欢体育，去看足球，哭死也没人管你，但是很轻松和畅快。　　　　
48、不要24小时都想念同一个人。可以分一点给家人和朋友。 　　　　
49、如果喜欢一个人，在允许的情况下，告诉对方。也许得不到答案，但至少你努力过，将来不必后悔（也许后悔的是对方，呵呵）。 　　　　
50、有固定的消遣场所，比如固定的咖啡馆、书店。让那个地方的服务生认识你，这样，你会在孤单时有个温暖的去处。 　
51、如果决定离开一个人，行动要快一点，快刀斩乱麻；如果决定爱上一个人，时间拉长一点，看清楚是否适合你。 　　　　
52、找专人做色彩搭配建议。不要整天灰头灰脸，让自己灿烂点，别浪费青春和娇美身材。 　　　　
53、不要为了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃饭、哭泣、自闭、抑郁，这些都是傻瓜才做的事。当然，偶尔傻一下有必要，人生不必时时聪明。　　　　
54、如果一个男人对你说他喜欢你，相信他。如果他说不再爱你，也相信他。任何时候，要告诉自己，一个不爱你的人离开，是幸运。 　　　　
55 、任何情况下，背后不说他人是非。如果一定要你说，说好话。 　　　　
56、买舒适的睡衣给自己，性感一点也无所谓。 　　　　
57、允许偶尔看肥皂剧，但不可成为依赖。允许偶尔披头散发，但要注重场合。允许偶尔骂脏话，但只限在老友面前或者独自一人时，记得说过后要忘掉那种畅快感。　　　　
58、爱护你的手，它是你的第二张脸，但不是为此你不需要分担任何家务。
59、爱父母，每周一次打电话或者抽时间共进晚餐。（应该在前十条中。） 　
60 、不必为某个人选择销毁ID或者失踪。爱和不爱都将继续生活，结束就好好结束，何必苦了自己？
61、穿有质感的衣服，找有质量的男朋友。他不一定很有钱，但是一定要能让你有安全感和开心。
62、居室要有鲜花，记得换水。如果要出差，清理之后再出门，不要回来面对一屋子的蚊子和虫子。
63、有空时给自己点一袭喜欢的香薰，让香味充盈房间。 愉悦。 　　　　
64 、想吃就吃。为了保持身材让自己饿着，那是世界上最愚蠢的美丽。 　　　　
65、如果有可能，尽量留长发。短发确实打理起来容易一些，但始终少了些女人味。 　　　　
66、心血来潮时，可以帮他洗衣服，买袜子，但是不要自作多情帮他买内裤。他爱穿什么就让他穿什么。 　　
67、如果哪个男人说了让你难堪的话，原谅他。一个被原谅的男人最后会后悔失去一个像你这么宽容的女朋友。
68、有一个最少两年内需要达成的目标。有目标的人生不 会太无聊。 　　　　
69、如果很不幸遇上了一个以上床为目的，对你始乱终弃的男人，请先微笑，然后鄙视他：你是我这辈子遇见的最龌龊最无能的男人。然后用最美的方式头也不要回的离开。　　　　
70、如果男人以他忙为理由，不来探你的病情，不回你的邮件，不关心你的现状，不能和你承担生活的重负，无法给你勇气。勇敢一点，自动离开。没有什么比自己关心自己来得实在。而一个不爱你的人，你付出的再多，他再好，那也不过是浪费时间和精力。　　　　
71、如果有曾经喜欢你但现在已经结婚的男子对你说：他忘记不了你，你始终是他最爱的人。请镇定的告诉他：像个男人一样生活。你这样做，既能保持冷静，又尊重和爱护了另外一个女人。这会让你更有魅力。　　　　
72 、常常去运动。做个安静的林妹妹固然很好，但是身体健康更重要。 　　　　
73、不要在路上无所顾忌的吃东西，有失淑女风范。（特别是啃烧烤等等不雅行为）
74、天真纯洁很好。但是不分场合的天真就会成为白痴行为。
75、一定要有几个男性朋友，没有非分之想，能在受到委屈时拿胸口当沙包给你锤，你也能帮他出主意追女朋友，并可以深夜里把他从床上揪起来去很远的地方接你。当然，首先你要让他女朋友或者太太认可你。否则不要试。　　　　
76、学会承受痛苦。有些话，适合烂在心里，有些痛苦，适合无声无息的忘记。当经历过，你成长了，自己知道就好。很多改变，不需要你自己说，别人会看得到。
77、家里备常用药，判断不了病情的时候，赶快去医院。 　　　　
78、不要等男人给你买礼物，想对自己好的时候，就自己去买。用起来会更舒心。
79、不要在一个男人离开之后，企图用报复心理去生活。那只会让你的生活乱成一团。正确的做法是比从前生活的更好。并告诉他：你生活的很好，很快乐，让他不要担心。　　　　
80 、如果要去逛街，记得穿舒适的鞋子。善待自己是表现在细节上的。
81、有时间的话，去学瑜伽或者跆拳道。前者能让你放松身心，后者可以防身。
82、家里和办公室分别空出一格抽屉放零食。 　　　　
83、隔期清理居室和身心。多余的物品送给有需要的人，心里的不痛快记得及时清除。别让生活的忙碌和郁闷消磨了美丽容颜。 　　　
84、没有丑女人，只有懒女人。不愿意用时间来装扮自己的女人，请不要对其他的美丽女人心生嫉妒不满。 　
85、任何场合，保持应有的涵养。学会说谢谢、辛苦您、对不起。做错了事情要懂得道歉和改过。 　
86、对于不想交往的人，不要应邀去吃饭喝咖啡，哪怕只是一块钱。没有后续发展和希望的交往，会浪费人家的钱和感情，这叫贪图享乐。贪慕虚荣的女子会让人瞧不起。如果实在碍于朋友介绍的情面挪不开，记得AA制。　
87、对于你不想交往的人送来的礼物，原封不动寄回去。这是原则问题。 　　　
88、有自己的人生观和价值观。出现问题可以忍让并寻求解决，但是触及原则，要保持自己原则。丧失原则会让你失去生活的目的。 　　　　
89、能不和人争吵尽量避免。一个发怒的人是很恐怖的，会因控制不了情绪变成疯子。 　　　　
90、购买物件可以讨价还价，但如果对方不小心多找了你钱，要退回去。不要因贪小失去了做人的意义。 　　
91、公共场所，给人行方便，特别是老人家。你也会老去，所以尊重老人就是尊重你以后的岁月。
92 、如果没有人陪，学着一个人听音乐看书写文字。这是个好习惯。 　　　　
93、口腔不要有异味。随身携带口气清新剂和补妆的物件。不要真的以为素面朝天是一种美。香口胶吃过后要用纸包起来丢弃垃圾桶。明白随地吐痰是不文明行为，厉行禁止。　　　　
94、之前你放弃的人或者放弃你的人，深夜打电话给你，挂掉之后关机。如果他守在窗口，记得拉紧窗帘。不是你狠心，而是任何经历伤痛之后的分手都会有裂痕，修补得再好也无法还原。不如就让它过去。　　　　
95、爱那个爱你的人。如果只是你爱他，或者只是他爱你。趁早分开。女子不需要他人来假装疼爱，你也不需要假装疼爱某人。 　　　　
96、如果可以，和相爱的人牵手漫步。在找不到之前，学会自己欣赏风景。
97、对你不情愿做的事情大声说不。比如酒席上，轮到你喝酒，而你不善，大可以茶代酒，而非含恨饮醉。 　
98、不管和谁有了矛盾和别扭，解决的时间不要超过24小时。否则麻烦会更多。在可以接受的范围内，先道 歉。让自己做做坏人不是件真的坏事。　　　　
99、相信一见钟情的爱情，相信总有一个人会在岁月的拐角处静静的等你。只是你要擦亮眼睛，细心寻找。 　
100、做个睿智的女子。学会从容面对生活。积极面对生活，生活定会如你所愿，如同明早，太阳依旧会如时升起。

謝謝你的愛

演唱：李心洁
作词：张震岳 作曲：张震岳

回头看过去 想念你的微笑和眼睛
你如此的天真 为爱情在努力
世界一直变 有一天我在梦中发现
也发现你的心 不在我的视线

那一天 我哭了一整夜 也知道 我回不了过去

谢谢你给我的爱 现在我才看清楚
彼此曾经受的伤 时间里烟消云散
在情多变的路上 也许我只是个小孩
把想要对你说的话 埋藏在心中最深的地方

Running Away from Reality

After a week of depression, thanks to somebody who cause this. I decided to run away from reality at least for 2 days. During the horrible depression period, I had stomachache for 2 days, the thought of suiciding is so strong which I think I nearly did it until somebody pull me back. Trust me, at least to me and Kristie, depression is the best way to keep fit. I lost at 2" inch of belly in few days time and I am still feeling the slight stomachache. Do not try this if you tend to eat a lot when you are undergoing depression!!!! TAKE NOTE!

I wonder how long will I take to gain back the weight again.......During depression, I slept for days and days trying to escape from the problems. Indeed it shouldn't be my problem coz the one who needs changes is not me, so why am I taking it all to myself. Mom said this to me. I dunno, is just me.

No worries, I am going to be fine sooner or later. Luv you all.