Oikophobia
Phobia is a Greek word meaning fear, is a strong, persistent fear of situations, objects, activities, or persons. The main symptom of this disorder is excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. Phobia occurs as a technical in psychiatry as a mental disorder. A serious phobia that is beyond one's control, can interfere daily life or disable one's life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates.
Oikophobia is a fear of home surroundings, house. I am experiencing it now. It hunts me down quite often and I was surprise for the past 9 weeks I have not encounter any problem due to it. However, it does come back to me again. It probably happen more often when I am back home in Malaysia which I tend to runaway from home, hide myself from my home (a place that does not exist), so called family. Therefore, I am happy to stay away from home.
First year in the UK, I spent most of my time in my classmate's room. I was feeling relax in his room just becuase of the phobia that keeps me away to go home. He was always wondering and often irritated when he tried to tell me to go home. Second year in this country, I kept myself so busy to keep away from that small jail, room which drives me crazy. I went out more with friends, no matter what nationalities or personalities they are. Third year, I was wondering how I can take it for 9 weeks without running away and I am still amazed. Perhaps everyone is now scared of me and refusing to take this responsibilities anymore. I know it cause me quite a lot of trouble and I am thinking maybe I should put myself in the computer cluster or library so that I can progress and get some work done instead of just spending my time running away. Although I will tend to disturb others and being distracted easily, it still of getting things done in a slower progression.
College was a hectic life to keep myself away from the 3 person sharing cell. Its fantastic! That was the life I have missed the most, 3 hours in computer lab after class and get hurried off when it's to be closed, 3 hours in library to finish all the assignments and research projects. Then followed by dinner with friends and coursemates. Go back to the small little house at 10pm. Directly knocked out on the bed for 15-30min, woke up continue with work again. I could just forget about phobia with the amount of workload. During midnight, went for tea, chilled out at mamak(hawker stalls) and even camped in my friends house. Weekends? Half day library(is never open 24-7), read story books/manga(I did spend most of my time in a manga shop, they have all kind of novels and manga), coffee and loitering. Oh do not missed Fridays! Midnight movies, pool, internet cafe LAN game server, chit chat, Ramli's burger and indo mee double. I often go back to my room and sleep 7 on the morning when my roommate woke up. Sorry about it, Emily, I know its a disaster.
"To conquer fear, you have to become fear" I did not manage to conquer fear but I have become a nightmare, a fear for others. No matter how much I like this quote, it doesn't seem seem to help. So do not bother about me if I dissapear in thin air and never return.
Oikophobia is a fear of home surroundings, house. I am experiencing it now. It hunts me down quite often and I was surprise for the past 9 weeks I have not encounter any problem due to it. However, it does come back to me again. It probably happen more often when I am back home in Malaysia which I tend to runaway from home, hide myself from my home (a place that does not exist), so called family. Therefore, I am happy to stay away from home.
First year in the UK, I spent most of my time in my classmate's room. I was feeling relax in his room just becuase of the phobia that keeps me away to go home. He was always wondering and often irritated when he tried to tell me to go home. Second year in this country, I kept myself so busy to keep away from that small jail, room which drives me crazy. I went out more with friends, no matter what nationalities or personalities they are. Third year, I was wondering how I can take it for 9 weeks without running away and I am still amazed. Perhaps everyone is now scared of me and refusing to take this responsibilities anymore. I know it cause me quite a lot of trouble and I am thinking maybe I should put myself in the computer cluster or library so that I can progress and get some work done instead of just spending my time running away. Although I will tend to disturb others and being distracted easily, it still of getting things done in a slower progression.
College was a hectic life to keep myself away from the 3 person sharing cell. Its fantastic! That was the life I have missed the most, 3 hours in computer lab after class and get hurried off when it's to be closed, 3 hours in library to finish all the assignments and research projects. Then followed by dinner with friends and coursemates. Go back to the small little house at 10pm. Directly knocked out on the bed for 15-30min, woke up continue with work again. I could just forget about phobia with the amount of workload. During midnight, went for tea, chilled out at mamak(hawker stalls) and even camped in my friends house. Weekends? Half day library(is never open 24-7), read story books/manga(I did spend most of my time in a manga shop, they have all kind of novels and manga), coffee and loitering. Oh do not missed Fridays! Midnight movies, pool, internet cafe LAN game server, chit chat, Ramli's burger and indo mee double. I often go back to my room and sleep 7 on the morning when my roommate woke up. Sorry about it, Emily, I know its a disaster.
"To conquer fear, you have to become fear" I did not manage to conquer fear but I have become a nightmare, a fear for others. No matter how much I like this quote, it doesn't seem seem to help. So do not bother about me if I dissapear in thin air and never return.
posted by Alison at
5:23 PM
2 Comments:
interesting.. i dunno who r u. a girl or a boy.. but if u need to recover, it takes a lot of work` it seems ur life is in a mess.. just tk` and cont to express urself.. :) i'll review.
Yesterday is History
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present.
Yea sweetheart, there are many fears we have to overcome. Conquering them all is not an easy task. Neither will it be difficult. At times, it is good to take a break and step back, look at a bigger picture. Remember the "1=5" theory? Learn to step back and keep an eye on other alternatives.
Vanishing may be a good idea. But it is definitely not the best.
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